Sean, from Madrid, Spain asks:

Why aren't gay men attracted to me? I have loads of women hitting on me but no men. I'm not straight-acting or queeny, I'm just me… What's wrong with me?

Mr. Y says:

Well, first of all, I'm a victim of the same scenario. Women at my workplace walk by and tell me how gorgeous I am. Guys just walk by, even the gay ones. I even get an occasional compliment from a straight guy, but what the hell good is that? And this isn't just job related. It happens to the best and the hottest of us. So I don't really think that the forwardness of women and the shyness of men is really a meter of your attractivenes..It's probably a better meter of society. Not having a plethora of details to help me delve into your situation, I can't really just draw a specific reason out of a hat. I've seen your picture so I'm sure it's not your looks. To put it bluntly, you aren't my type (lol, you're white! j/k), but I've seen plenty of guys that fit somewhere within your aesthetic genre, hanging on the arms of some hottie. Some of them have been utter queens, so I also don't think it would have anything to do with your femininity, or lack thereof. But, on the other hand, it could have something to do with your personality. Maybe you expect guys to be more forward than they are, and your expectations are manifested in your actions towards them, and that causes them to be even more shy. It's only a possibility. Another cause could be that the kind of personality that you're attracted too is also the kind of personality that wouldn't mesh well with your own. I've seen several examples of this, and they all happened to me. Unfortunately for myself and my ex's, neither of us were emotionally mature enough to realize that although the attraction was there, it wasn't a word to the wise telling us that we were destined to be soul mates. It's usually more like we just thought the sex would be hot, and then everything else would fall into place. As you can probably tell by the term with which i refer to these guys, we were wrong. Also, I'd also like to address your last question; "What's wrong with me?". What a naive question! If you're truly confident in yourself, and you expect guys to like you to the point where you don't know why they wouldn't when they don't, shouldn't you ask; "What's wrong with them?" Maybe you're not seeking guys in crowds that are elevated enough to realize what your have to offer? Maybe the guys are so elevated that they can pick up that you feel as if something IS wrong with you, and they're taking your word for it? People, guys included, are a lot more intuitive than you, or me, or they, give themselves or ourselves credit for. The problem is that some of us our so busy analyzing ourselves that we never stop to read other people, and that some of us are so busy analyzing other people that we never stop to read ourselves. Find out which category you are in so you can see what you're not seeing now.

D (how ominously anonymous) asks:

Okay, here goes.... I've known I was gay for a long time. I started coming out to my friends around 12 (puberty). Back then, I could hump my pillow at night and start orgasming on the spot.... Now, I'm 23, and it takes me FOREVER to cum when I'm with a guy (if I cum at all). It's gotten to the point where even porn doesn't really help all that much. I pretty much shy away from sex and most relationships---mainly because I don't want to be that guy that is remembered for not finishing what he starts, y'know? What do you think I should do?

Mr Y (pretty ominously anonymous too) says:

Well first and foremost, you say you never cum (or it takes drastically long to cum) when you're 'with a guy'. What about alone? I mean, DO you masturbate? And if you do, do you think there's a change that you're draining your resources before you can use them? I know I've had this same problem. I think I'm not going to get any, or the urge to get off is just too strong, so I whack off. Then, WHAM, sex comes my way and it's like, 'Hey, Mr. Camel? What do I have to do to get you to spit?". If that could be the problem, try giving your hand a rest. If you're sure that's not it, then there are some other alternatives. It could be an actual physical problem. Had any painful run ins with rough sex? Maybe you thought you were about to penetrate something and instead turned your piece into a pretzel? Feel any abnormal lumps or legions? Things like that can cause the most minor of changes in your anatomy that you'd never correlate until your doctor looks at you like you were crazy for not coming in sooner. It could also be less serious. For instance, my father, unlike me, almost never masturbated. He encouraged it profusely, so I know he wouldn't lie about his monkey choking frequency, but he simply just couldn't cum at all in the bedroom if he'd pleasured himself earlier. When he did fuck, it took hours for him to blow. Most women just loved this, but most guys can't take being plowed for as long as it takes to actually plow a field. The anus wasn't necessarily built for the penis, especially for the penis that wants to set up camp and have an all night party. I would say that a natural/genetic cause could be the reason for your problem, except that it seems your penis was, at one point in time, more like old faithful than mount saint Helen. In my father’s case, he'd been like that all his life. So maybe it's not physical, maybe it is, in fact, mental. It seems you're still attracted to guys. You'd have to keep it up for two hours or more to know that it's taking you that long to cum. Could it be that although the male form is still very much appealing to you, the 'scene' you've been in is not. You know what I mean by scene. Could it be that the guys are hotties, but the typical sexual scenario has become bland, and not enough to push you over the edge? Lots of guys find that there's an exceptional amount of appeal there when they discover things like bondage or any other form of role-play. I had a friend that had been in a sexual dry spell for a little over a year, and miraculously, he discovered that a hot pair of feet really turned him on. Maybe you and your pee wee need to go on a personal exploration of the vast continents of internet smut that await you. If you find something you like, it will be more than easy to find someone else that's into the same thing. Trust me, I know, I'm far from vanilla. And the same thing has happened to me, from an opposite perspective. I've gotten totally bored with my various kinks and just wanted some old fashioned sex. It happens. But if you'd tried every avenue of kink, and you've been to the doctor and had your weenie under the microscope, and you're still in the same rut, the only thing left that i can think to suggest is to see about getting prescribed something that will make your dick more sensitive or increase your sperm count. The more cum you have the more it will want to get out. According to men's health magazine, things like this do exist. It may not be the biggest ego boost in the world to be on sexually stimulating medication, but we're not talking Viagra here. Just something to give your sex life a little oomph. Sex, especially orgasming, is one of the most beneficial things that you can do for your well-being. Ignoring this problem that you're having could have potentially negative effects on your general outlook on life. There was a reason we were given the ability to blow our loads, and obviously for guys like you and I, it wasn't a reproduction thing. It's important that you get this fixed, on your own or with your doctor. Who knows, you might find that the doctor/patient scene makes you leak with anticipation......